Breath.

Salam.

Kesian blog ni. Dah tak tau nk update apa sangat. Arrayyan dah pun setahun last week. And he took MMR vac. Isu vaccines ni malas nk cakap lagi. As a parent do your best for your child. Choice is yours.

In 1 year jaga anak sendiri is challenging yet exciting. Im not a perfect mother but I learnt and still learning. Being SAHM needs extra strong physical and mental. Well, pokok pangkal hati and niat nak cari pahala. But kdg2 tertewas because I whine. Yes. Kdg2 letih smpi nangis. Lepas nangis rasa mcm this is life. Penat letih tu mcm bisikan syaitan. But most of the time I am happier than I am before.

Dpt masak sendiri utk rayyan. Trigger apa dia suka apa dia tak suka. Now dah pandai memilih makan. And he taught me to be creative. Cook more and make something new. Skrg fav dia makaroni. Hari hari makaroni.

Nasi plak tak nak sgt nasi putih. Nak mcm nasi ayam. Nasi arab. Nasi yg mcm ada rempah. Pening. Tapi selagi dia nak makan, bagi je la apa dia suka.

Dia still belum boleh berjalan dengan sempurna. Masih suka memapah. Jln pn nak P ditatihkan. Stand without support for a while pastu dia mcm gayat terus duduk. Maybe sbb dia tak duduk dlm walker so takes some time untuk dia fikir mcm mana nak jalan dgn betul. Take your time dear son. Belajat berfikir dan jadi kreatif ok!

Gigi sudah ada 4 batang. Itupn tiap kali nk keluar mesti demam. Hope lepas ni xde demam dah untuk gigi2 lain. Sbb bila demam panas dia menakutkan.

Breastfeeding journey still ok. Kdg2 ada jgk masa susu drop. And right now tgh nk train mix fm. I may start working soon. So tak nak dia kelaparan nak kene train. All this while dia hanya df. No bottle since he rejects it. Dh pandai memilih nk side mana. Ahai.

No 2. I miss being pregnant. Who doesnt kan. But I need to settle main things first then baru boleh stop injection. Im on family planning injection. InsyaAllah by next year perhaps? Haha.

Next week dah nak masuk ramadhan. Feeling excited!

posted from Bloggeroid

9 months!

Hello.

Arrayyan dah msk 9 bln last week. And he is super active lately sampaikan makan pun dh kurang. Nak main je kejenye. Letih melayan dan mengejar. Boleh kurus gini gaya.

Cubaan berdiri unsupported still fail. Hee. Usaha tangga kejayaan anakku. Try lagi. Byk kali dia jatuh smpi nangis tapi aku just monitor. If tak teruk jatuh so aku akan biarkan dia buat lagi. He's trying very hard. Tgh ktorg tido pn tetiba dia bangun nak main panjat panjat. Haih lah anak.

Dia suka memanjat. Panjat sofa. Panjat meja tv dan lain lain. Nak tidokan pun kena paksa unless dia dh letih sgt, dia akan tido dgn sendirinya. Good boy! Nowadays, dia dh balance sebut mamma, abbah, mammam. Itu je lah pun. Nak susu pun kategori mammam. If sua bubur dia tolak tu maknanye nenen la tu.

Since now dia sgt active, badan dia dh npk susut sbb makan pun x byk mcm dulu. Dulu letak bubur penuh 1 mangkuk boleh habis, skrg stgh drpd tu je. Jadilah. Asalkan makan. Just right now nk kene rajinkan diri lebih sikit masak yg ada cheese dgn sup.

Arrayyan punya perut sebijik mcm abahnya. Tak berapa makan sgt pasta. Makan sikit lpstu muak. Kalau paksa lg, alamatnye muntah. Unlike mamanya. Habis licin kalau makan pasta.

And now, texture bubur dh tukar kepada nasi lembik. Sebab dia prefer mengunyah drpd telan. Tapi gigi pun takde lagi. Unlike his friends yg gegirl semua dh ada gigi. Dia blum lg. Lambat kot. Lambat klua harapnye lmbt la rosak.

Skrg kalau nampak mama pakai anak tudung dia start cebik nk nangis takut kena tinggal. Haih. So skrg, aku la org plg last siap. Siapkan anak dlu then abahnye siap so last bru aku. Kalau x, x tenang nak bersiap nk keluar.

Last few weeks ktorg ke melaka bercuti. Bila anak dh start makan and we travel rasa mcm susah sikit nk bg dia makan (ni pendapat aku). Bagi bubur hotel sediakan dia takmau sbb rasa tawar habis. Xkan nk bwk rice cooker blender bagai semua ke hotel. So we went to jusco melaka beli heinz punya pasta and bubur and some fruits mcm limau utk dia hisap. Dia makan tp xlah meriah mcm mkn kt rmh. Maybe dia tak biasa taste yg dlm jar kot. Kesian pn ada. So bites adalah penyelamat utama. Bites kan emping beras. So at least dia xlah lapar sgt. Tapi bila dia sebut mam mam rasa mcm kesian dan serba salah. Bila smpi rmh buat bubur dia mkn mcm org x dpt nasi 2 hari. Huuuu.

Susah sikit sbb still kene buat mknan dia. Tak boleh mkn mknan org besar. Bila dah setahun nnt ok sikit la kot. Boleh mkn mknan yg ada garam sikit.

Itu je la kot.

Hello.

Last night conversation in a car.

Me: Rayyan kena pakai size XL dah. L dah ketat. Nak beli sekarang ke tunggu habis yg size L tu?

Hubs: Beli kemudian la. Sempat sampai jumaat kan?

Me: Sempat je. Weekend pun boleh beli.

Hubs: Beli jumaat la, lepas tu terus pergi Melaka.

Paused.

Me: Eii pergi melaka tu next week lah. Hahaha. Tak menyabor betul

Hubs: Oo eh. Igtkn minggu ni. Muka selamba.

Right now, I want tomorrow end soon. Esp faster to 10.30 am. A one hour to present to examiner my master progress and I hope they wont ask me that much.

Wish me luck. :p

Its been a while

Hello.

After rayyan is born and after my bm is enough to feed him, usually, my breast will get engorged. And I will df him or pump. Then starting my son turn to 4 months, dah tak ada bengkak susu bagai. Susu ada lagi but bila pump tak meriah mcm awal2 lps bersalin.

Then lately, rayyan keje dia hisap susu je smpi at one time i feel pain at my right b. (due to growth spurts) Left b takda mslh since susu lg byk at left compared right.

Then semalam urut dgn mak bidan sbb I think I had another uterine prolapse. Redha sbb anak dh dkt 10kg. So boleh rasa sakitnye. Then urut smlm. Tgh tgh urut tetiba baju basah at left b and i still can relax sbb i know susu byk at left. Makcik tu urut plak dkt tapak kaki belah kanan, tetiba rasa pelik apsal belah kanan basah lencun. Then I told makcik urut tu, dh lama belah kanan ni tak bocor. Bengkak apetah lg. Makcik tu kata ni urat tersumbat. I dont know much but all I know I was surprised.

And today, tgh df my son after got back from a wedding, tetiba baju kurung basah lencun sgt at right. And I was surprised again.

I know, Allah is helping me. Allah hears my pray. I keep on praying to Allah gives me a chance to see my son grows with my milk with Allah's wills. My son mmg tak terima FM and right now all I do is keep on giving him my bm. DF all the time.

I guess, by traditional massage pn did a help. Yg penting keredhaan Allah. Kun fa ya kun. Alhamdulillah. Walaupun susu tak semeriah org lain, Allah lebih mengetahui rezeki utk anak aku mcm mana. And now, pump tu simpan saja sbb no point for me to pump since my son xnk bottle feeding. Botol air dia je dia nk, tp ltk susu dlm tu dia tau plak reject. Ahai la anak. Letak air masak elok je minum.

Melt

Hello.

Yesterday, I was asleep.

You woke me up with a kiss.

You kiss me 2 times.

When I asked you to kiss me again, you dont bother to do it again. -_________- anak abah betul.

Its a wonderful moment. You are 8 months already. :)

Hello.

Untitled.

Sebab post ni akan bercampur aduk. At first, we wanted to buy a walker for rayyan. But hubs did a lot of research suddenly dia kata tak payah la beli walker untuk rayyan, kita buat playroom untuk dia. -_______-

Mama dah excited nak beli walker, abah pulak kata tak payah. Abah kata biar development rayyan walks naturally bukan dipaksa. Oh well, I personally think bukan nak force. At least bila anak dlm walker I can monitor him from kitchen. Kang tau tau dah bawah kerusi. Lepastu melalak sebab tak reti nak keluar. Hahaha. Masuk reti, keluar tak reti. But since hubs say NO, so mengikut je lah mama ni. Kang derhaka plak kalau protest.

Again, walker ni subjective pada parents. If beli, beli yang safety dia okey and bla bla bla. Mama nak beli FP Jumperoo abah kata nanti rayyan pakai kejap. Kan nanti re-use balik untuk adik rayyan. Ape la abah ni. :p

Sabtu lepas, gigihlah abah cari playmat yang puzzle dekat tesco. Tesco is cheaper than carrefour (going to change to AEON Big). Nak ball yg kecik kecik tu, abah beli. Cuma fence je abah tak jumpa lagi. Abah kata yg kedai baby semua harga merepek. Sampai 500++. Mama layankan aje ape abah nak buat utk anak dia. Sampai ke tesco nilai mama ikut abah. So sekarang, terpaksa lah mama masak sambil curi curi tengok apa anak mama buat. -______________________-

Second. Car seat. Yes. Car seat lama tu kamu dah tak nak duduk. Bila letak je terangkat bontot nak keluar. So mama bungkus car seat tu letak kat rumah tok bu. Now, we need to find a new car seat for you. Yang bungkus tu nanti pakai balik untuk 'adik' kamu nanti ye. Abah tak suka spend mahal mahal for a thing yang we dont know you'll utilize it or not. So, here again, we decided to buy you a new car seat from sweet cherry. Price wise pun okey. Below RM 200. Dah try test dekat Manjaku hari tu and we personally think you like this!

Child Booster Seat

Abah kata nampak style. -_________-

Weekend ni kita beli ye anak. Mama lenguh tangan nak kene riba kamu dalam kereta kalau tido. So far mama mmg berpuas hati car seat yang di beli brand sweet cherry ni. Stroller pulak abah dan mama berpuas hati pakai halford. Senang. 

Third. Mama ingin mencari swim suit untuk kamu. Pelampung dah beli. Siap ada steering lagi. Mama tak sabar nak tunggu 22nd March ni. Our first holiday. Doesnt mind walaupun di Melaka sahaja yang penting hotel pun free. Avillion Legacy. Walaupuuuuuun orang kata hotel tu hotel lama, we dont mind. Its FREE. Kalau ada unsur jeles mmg begitu kot. lol. Its an advance birthday gift from tokbu for mama and abah (we born in March!). So, abah excited sangat ingatkan weekend haritu patut pergi Melaka. Abah kata tak payah swim suit. Tapi mama nak jugak beli. Mana nak beli swim suit for baby online yer? Care to share? Pampers huggies tu mana nak cari? Manjaku nan hado. Tesco pn takdak. Abah kata tak payah pakai pampers. -_________________-

Kalau tiba tiba rayyan poo poo? 

Early May jalan jalan pergi JB. Before mama start teaching and class, haruslah cuti sakan. Nanti weekend mama ada class. Weekdays teaching. Berulang kali mama consider and re consider to teach. Bila tok ayah kata mbak siti jaga rayyan bulan 5 ni. Mama rasa legaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Its hard to find orang yg betul2 boleh jaga anak. Nak hantar nursery kat putrajaya ni, famous dgn kes tak berdaftar lah. Bayi mati tersedak susu, kena dera lah. Bla bla bla. So mama malas dah nak search and find. Next year tok ayah sendiri nak jaga rayyan and mama rasa should be okey lah since rayyan dah besar. Can walk insyaAllah. Can talk and understand. So tak susah mana tok ayah nak layan kerenah kamu nanti. 

Just want to share this group in FB. Honestly, membantu lah jugak. They share what they know from their experience. So now, mama letak olive oil dgn habbatussauda sikit dlm bubur rayyan. Takde sembelit dah.  Before this 2 hari rayyan tak poo poo. Maybe texture bubur tu mama buat solid sgt kot. Heee. Ampun. Lepas ni kita cari badam dan raisins okey! Mama tak bagi salmon pun, tapi mama letak ikan tenggiri and so far you have no allergy. Ikan tu mama goreng dulu kang main campak dlm bubur hanyir plak. Mostly mama masak untuk rayyan ikut resepi orang dulu dulu. Abah kata, dulu abah tak makan salmon tapi abah cerdik je. -______________________- 

Ok. Bye.

Jealousy

Hello.

We had our playtime and abah came in and hug me. Just to tease you, abah said "abah syg mama. bwekk"

and you response "herghhh herghhh" *screamingggggg*. protes marah la tu kononnya.

Oh my son, how to give you adik? If ada adik nnt mesti jeles. We need to prepare you to be a brother next year.

Somehow, its funny bila ingat balik. HAHA. Keshiaaann anak mama.

Judgemental

Hello.

Judgemental - A value judgment is a judgment of the rightness or wrongness of something, or of the usefulness of something, based on a personal view....

Tak salah kalau kita nk ada tanggapan pada orang lain tapi biarlah berasas dan sekurang kurangnya kita kenal orang tu daripada tak kenal tapi main hentam je orang tu. Ewahhhh.

Speaking of my future career, still undecided to be a lecturer or back to the technical field. Honestly, nak mengajar anak orang bukan mudah. Tambah kalau level IPT. Tambah lagi kalau IPTS. Ha ha. Students pay higher than IPTA's fee. Based from my experiences, I am not a top student not also a bad student. Lebih kurang average je level aku. 

Dulu, kalau nak register class waktu add and drop session mesti akan refer senior lecturer mana yang ok untuk subject ni and ni. So berebutlah register class tu ikut time slot. Bertenggek depan laptop tak sabar nak register class yang lecturer ok. Why? Sebab as a student, semua nak score subject tu. Bayo fees mahal, kang masuk class yang lecturer tak ok, sekali fail dah seksa nak repeat pastu baya sendiri. Sponsorship kalau repeat mepeat ni memang tak akan tolong bayarkan. 

Walhal, basically, semua orang tau lecturer yang mengajar tu macam pemangkin sahaja. The rest are up to you. Ko nak belajar ke tak nak belajar ke itu sendiri mahu ingat. Ko nak ponteng kelas 1-2 kali which is allowable for you to sit for the exam pun tak kisah. Jangan over limit dah la. Zaman aku dulu, siap kira dgn member2 dah brape kali ponteng lecture tu ini. Hahaha. Kang tak boleh amek final exam, universiti hantar surat kat mak bapak ape aku nk jawab dengan parents aku? Hahaha. 

Ini pandangan aku lah yang dulu pernah jadi student undergrad, register class yang lecturer okey akan menambahkan lagi semangat untuk score subject tu. Bila pergi class tak ngantuk, tak boring, bila time dh dekat untuk pergi class tu rasa mcm tak nak skip class. Haa macam tu. So lecturer memainkan peranan di situ untuk menarik minat students. 

2nd, bila pergi class aku nak senang faham. Tak nak pergi class, lepas tu lecturer sebut sebutir sebutir mcm dalam text book. Haaa dulu ada ye lecturer aku mcm tu. Sampai ke sudah aku tak suka subject tu. Sudahnya bila kerja pun dapat bidang tu. Haa so jangan sumpah seranah lecturer. Kelak makan diri. Ha ha ha. Itu aku la. Kawan kawan aku tak de plak. Nasib aku la kan. LOL. Lecturer pulak berbeza beza setiap orang and method of teaching mereka. Why?

Pendapat aku lagi. IF lecturer tu ada working experiences and taught a class yang dia boleh relatekan dengan technical field, students akan senang faham and will be more interested. Berbeza dengan lecturer yang nan hado technical experiences. Sangat berbeza. Dont judge me. Aku cakap based from experiences aku sebagai student di sebuah IPT. Bila pergi class yang orang tak ada technical experiences aku cepat bosan. Including unimate aku. Kami akui benda itu. Bila pergi class yang mereka import from GLC staff, ktorg berkobar kobar nak dengar cerita dia but at the same time, dia relatekan dengan topik subject tu. Its easy.

Kena faham, students ni otak mereka tak semua sama. Ada yang fast learner. Ada yang slow learner. Ada yang boleh imagine. Ada yang jenis kene tengok visual. So dont expect all your students are same. PALING PENTING, jangan membezakan students. Haaaaa, ini pengalaman iols. Cerita benar. Aku dgn kawan kawan aku students yang average. Pointer pun average. So ada 1 lecturer suka melebihkan students lelaki drpd students perempuan. Heh with reason, I dulu zaman belajar lagi suka kawan dengan lelaki. Ni I tengok korang dengan geng geng korang je. So what? Yang students lelaki tu rajin sgt ke? Rajin COPY PASTE ye lah. Emo plak aku igt zaman dedolu.

And, my SV for degree fyp. Students yang pointer 3 and above is different dengan below 3. (Memang lah, pointer je dah lain. Pfffft.) Students pointer 3 above is more independent, can survive bla bla bla bla. IS IT? Then apehal member aku sampai skrg dok stuck keje kt GLC tu je. Interview company gah2 semua dah pergi. BUT? Rezeki.

Kawan aku pointer paras hidung. 2.05 je!! Now, he's proudly working with MNC O&G company. LECTURER jangan bersikap terlalu prejudis terhadap students. And dont simply say what you want to say to students. Because you'll eat your words. Sorry, aku memang tak suka lecturer jenis mcm ni. Beza bezakan students is not your right. Kena ingat lah, rezeki masing masing Allah dah tentukan.

Kadang kadang, dkt IPT dia nampak main main, malas, pointer pun paras hidung. But have you seen their other side? Kebolehan lain yang mereka ada compared what you see with your naked eyes? Dont get me wrong, tak semua lecturer mcm tu. Segelintir sahaja. Tapi sikap mcm ni boleh buat students demoralized.

Kalau aku igt balik zaman fyp degree, aku mcm nak mati buat coding sendiri. Kawan aku awal2 hampeh, pemalas. Bila present fyp, dia punya lagi canggih drpd aku. Dia amek drpd internet, then dia edit. Lelaki, ada kelebihan suka menggunakan apa yg ada dpn mata. I dont blame him. Tapi aku kecewa dgn SV aku sebab dia puji kwn aku without knowing yang kwn aku tu curik drpd internet. Until now, if aku jumpa ex SV aku, I'll just ignore. Yeah. Kenangan pahit masih segar di ingatan. 

And I proudly say, I work, I gain experiences from technical field, I learnt which is apa yang aku belajar kt IPT ni hanya 10% je aku boleh relatekan dengan kerja. The rest? Learn new things. So IF aku jadi lecturer one day, ingin aku jadikan my ex lecturer sbg idolaku. He's a lecturer at the same time he's a sr engineer. Memanjang cool. Lelaki mmg sentiasa cool kan unlike women. Haha. If during test, we can discuss though he knew but he said 'jangan bagi sy nampak' then he laugh. Final exam, he let us write any thing especially formulas in a paper that we can bring to exam hall. Pandai2 ko lah nak gunakan sehelai A4 paper tu tulis byk mana ko nak. If dalam exam ada tanya soalan yang jawapan ko dh tulis dlm formula sheet tu, lucky you.

So no need to be strict. IPT okey. IPT. I repeat. IPT. Especially IPTS. We pay you more. Takkan nak FAIL kot. Hahaha itu ayat kawan aku masa dolu dolu. Students skrg lagi hebakkkkk. Sikit sikit VC. Zaman aku dulu setakat Dean je. Akhir kata, jangan lah suka sangat nak menilai students. See yourself first. Semua sama. Beza pangkat, umur dan harta. Rezeki masing masing Allah dah tentukan. Nasib baik SV utk master aku bukanlah orang mcm tu. She doesnt have any technical experiences tapi dia humble. See, tak semua lecturer macam tu kan. Tu pasal aku cakap segelintir sahaja.

PERINGATAN untuk diri sendiri. Ni yang rasa malas nak enroll lab next semester ni. Kang semua aku bagi A, ape nak jawab kat Dean? 

SEKIAN, nukilan ikhlas dari student postgrad yang pernah jadi undergrad student yang tak suka lecturer membeza bezakan students.

SEKIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

My Worries

Hello.

I kept thinking these and that. All matters keep lingering in my mind. And I dont know which I should focus first.

My Master. Yes. I had this feeling telling me that I'm going to extend a year. That's it. I'll make sure by end of 2013 I'll have my viva. And, I need to get back to work. To be in academic line or back to industrial line? Kadang kadang rindu dengan kerja yang lasak dan mencabar. I was in high voltage engineering background for almost 3 years and now I let myself rest from those field to focus on my family and master.

Susah okey nak re-coding c programming ni. Kadang-kadang rasa nak convert from research to coursework. It is not easy to focus for research if you have a child and family need to take care of. Actually aku je la kot yg rasa susah. Maybe low determination. Orang lain elok je. But nak sambung ke PhD is a NO. Not now. But if in academic line with Master qualification, memang tak naik la jawatan dan gred. Pening kan fikir pasal future with money to fork out for living expenses. If only daun dkt pokok boleh di jadikan duit. Petik je kat mana2 pokok. Dreamingggggggggg.

2nd. My son. Someone is going to take care of him bulan 5 ni. I dont know how should I response to this.? Happy? Ok lah, at least boleh pergi office everyday and settle things faster than usual. Sad? Yes. Sebab all this while since he's born, aku yang jaga dia sampai lah dia nak masuk 8 bln ni. Even nak pergi office yang aku boleh balik awal as I wish when but still, I can't stop thinking of my son for every seconds! Abah dia kata, mama saja propa padahal ar rayyan okey je if we left him with my mom & dad. IF we leave him dgn my parents of course I am not worry that much lah. But with someone yang Im not really close memang risau. Tambah pulak ar rayyan dah makin banyak perangai. Kadang-kadang dia merengek with no reasons. If pandai amek hati dia, diam lah dia, gelak tawa je. Kdg2 dia mengamuk sampai kan rasa letih nk take over. I dont know tahap mana sabar org tu dengan ar rayyan nanti. Hope she can handles my dearly son.

Or maybe I just think too much sampaikan rasa nk stop master and need to get a new job BUT dah halfway dah mak jemah oi. Bak kata lisa, master can wait. Anak cannot wait. Yes true. Tapiiiiiiiii, if my master wait for me for a long time, my allowance ada limit. Lepas tu? Huhuhuhuhuhu. Think! Think! Bumi Allah ni luas untuk cari rezeki.

Ok lah. Cukup2 lah tu.

7 months

Hello.

Hmm how time fliest fast. Tau2 anak sendiri dah 7 bulan. Lagi 5 bulan dah 1 tahun. Oh anak, cpt benar kamu membesar sampaikan mama rasa nak pause masa supaya kamu tak besar. Maintain baby je. lol.

7 months

• You can crawl few steps tapi reverse. Still reverse. Belum masuk gear D lagi.
• Texture makanan mama dah lainkan. You love rice more than anything. Perut mcm abah! 
• Your weight is 9 kg +. 
• Still breastfeeding on demand. Mama akan keep bf selagi rezeki untuk rayyan ada. What to do, you reject bottle and FM and we (mama & abah ) are so tired to keep on trying, so we decided to rest a while and let you enjoy your mama's milk.
• You can say mamma, abbbbaaaa, and mammmmammmm. So now we know, when do you want to eat.
• Makin banyak akal. You dont really like toys that much. Jimat duit mama & abah.
• Kalau pergi kedai makan, you'll scream like no one is around. -__________________-
• Kalau tgk 613, you'll laugh out loud and you'll scream out of sudden.
• Kalau someone is blocking him from watching his fav tv, he'll scream (marah la tu. abah dia pernah kena. sampai merajuk. hehe)
• Kalau tido malam, dah pandai golek ke kiri ke kanan nak siapa dodoikan. Of course lah abah dia. Mama time dia nak nenen je. Dah sudah df dia akan pusing kiri kanan cari abah untuk dodoikan. Daddykin sungguh! 
• Kalau makan, dah pandai nak makan sendiri. Taknak mama suap. Amboiiii, besar sgt dah ke? And now, I train him for a sippy cup. Dia tak pandai sedut lagi so nak bagi straw pun belum masanya lagi.
• You can sit unsupported.
• Baju semua dah size 1T. No more yang size months2 ni. Tsk.
• Kalau masuk kereta, suka duduk mcm org besar. Tak nak duduk dalam car seat bagai. -__________-
• Sekarang, abah dia train solat berjemaah. Haha. Walaupun kene paksa duduk dalam bumbo seat. We noticed bila ktorg solat, dia akan duduk diam. Tengok setiap gerak geri apa mama dgn abah dia buat. Bila dah sudah solat, pandang dia, dia akan senyum. Cair hati mama tau! So abah decided to train you. Nanti jadi imam untuk mama dgn abah ye syg. Bila mama dgn abah kembali kepada Allah, jadi imam untuk solat jenazah kami yer arrayyan!
• Sekarang abah train rayyan rajin tgk abah main rugby. -______________- mama rasa terseksa jiwa dan raga bila tgk org kene hempap. 
• You eat 3 times a day. 
• Letak dalam highchair, bagi mainan semua campak ke luar. If pergi kedai, lagi kuat dia main campak-campak. Arrayyyyyyannnnnnnnn. Banyak akal! :)

Apa yang mama ingat, mama jot down dalam blog. Al maklum lah, urat banyak putus. If mama lupa, kan ke sedih tak dapat ingat moments anak mama membesar. 

Its fun bila dapat memasak untuk anak. Keep on google and try new recipes. But aku bukanlah mama yang terlalu fanatik sampai nak bagi anak makan benda yg instant pun tak boleh. Bought for him Heinz punya biscuits yang cair dlm mulut tu. Kalau dibancuh dengan air dia tak nak. So belikan yang fingers tu, apple flavor bukan main dia hisap sampai gigit pakai gusi. Pastu tersedak sebab gelojoh. Ahaila rayyan.Lepas ni mama nak belikan bites yang biskut beras tu pulak. At least, kalau tak sempat nak masak untuk anak bila nak keluar pergi jalan, boleh la bawak bekal biskut tu kan. So time kita makan at least dia pun boleh makan. Tak kisah lah hisap then campak.

Even a friend of mine ada nasihatkan suruh masak then ltk dlm fridge then panaskan, unfortunately my son tak nak. Yes, he's a bit fussy. Nak makan yang fresh je. So, nak bagi biscuits Heinz yg beli tu pn its okey for me. As long as dia tak makan racun dah la. I dont want to be a fussy mommy. Kadang-kadang time breakfast I feed him Cerelac oat yang ada prune tu. Since right now Im not feeling well, still flu and cough, so tak larat nak masak, bancuh dgn air panas je. Bukan malas ye. Tapi keadaan kesihatan tidak mengizinkan. Unless you have a maid then itu belakang kira lah weh. In my case, I dont mind. Takkan nak suruh husband pagi-pagi bersilat kt dapur kan. Nanti dia dah besar sikit lagi mcm2 dia amek masukkan dalam mulut yang sometimes kita tak nampak. We cant control them every seconds kan. So, I let myself be a chill and relax mommy. 

Ayam, ikan semua dia dah makan. Daging je belum. Will try that later. 

So far itu je lah yang mama larat nak type.

Raising Kids

Hello.

No. Im not going to give tips on how to raise kids. Or teach how. Because no one is perfect. Raising a child is a learning process for both side, you and your child. Agree? Anddddddddddddd, tak semua orang sama characternya. Agree?? No one is perfect. I repeat.

If our parents raised us in a way that we used to, of course lah we can learn something from them too right. Since I was a kid, I always told myself in some matters, I wont do this to my child just like my parents did to me. Why? Because I know the good/bad effects to me myself. Kadang kadang, apa kita rasa tak puas hati tak semestinya kita luahkan dkt our parents right. They are our parents. So, instead of luah, I took it in a good way. But make it as a reminder to myself for future, if I have a child, I will do this ..... and I wont do this ... to my child. Instead of using the same method like my parents did, perhaps I can alternate other methods without giving bad effects to my child. Sebab kita pernah rasa mcm mana and of course lah kalau boleh tak nak anak kita rasa mcm mana kita rasa kan. Faham? Pening? Lantak. 

Husband pernah cakap, nak ke kita ajar anak kita cara A tapi kita sendiri tak ikut cara A. Malah, bercampur aduk. Itu bukan teladan. Saya nak anak kita yang contohi kita. Nanti bila anak dah besar mesti dorg kata mama dgn abah ajar kita mcm ni, tapi dorang sendiri tak buat mcm ni. Once kita perbaiki diri kita insyaAllah kita pun akan jadi lebih baik, insyaAllah anak anak kita pn akan amek input yg baik tu. Lebih kurang mcm tu lah husband cakap. Make sense.Walaupuuuuuunnnnnn berdas das jgk lah smpi panas telinga ni. Hehehe. Semuaaaaaaaaaaaa parents nak kan yang terbaik untuk anak masing masing. Kalau boleh, tak nak langsung anak anak ada inherit sifat negatif kita kan. Kalau boleh nak dorg ada sifat positif je. 

Right now, my son is absorbing what me and husband did. When I clap my hands, he will open his hands and see what I'm doing. When my SIL is coughing, he will cough too. Kadang kadang tak perasan, aku campak je mainan dia atas sofa. And when I see his eyes are watching me, rasa macam oh oh. Afraid he might throw his toys after this just like what I did. Sebab skrg dia dlm proses absorbing. Macam sponge. Hehehe. My bad lah, sebab main campak campak je. Kadang-kadang bila husband berborak dgn kwn2 dia pun (you know lah how guys talk kan) tak pasal pasal aku kena pasang telinga bila dia tengah pegang rayyan. Rayyan mmg tak reti cakap lagi but he can hear. So those the f word ka b word ka ape ka semua nye kena ehem ehem sebelum husband tercakap or kawan2 husband cakap. Nasib kwn2 husband jenis faham aku ni mcm mana. They smoke, but they wont smoke around me and my baby. Itu cari sound berdas2 je nanti. 

Im still learning, to be a good mother. Selain bagi contoh yg terbaik kat anak, haruslah diri sendiri pun berubah. Jangan hipokrit sudah. Setiap parents cara didikan tak sama. You cant expect parents A teach  the same like parents B did. And the way we raise our kids, the environment and etc, are not the same. So please understand this is a learning process for both parties. Jangan terikut sangat dgn video tips. Kena tgk kemampuan diri sendiri di mana pada saat ini. 

You can get lots of tips on how to raise a child from al quran and hadith for muslim. Cara Rasulullah S.A.W didik anak for an example. :) 

BTW, raising kids is too subjective for every person with their own points of views.

FM again

Hello.

Rentetan pasal arrayyan and FM. Honestly hubs and I dah tak larat every night nak kene wake up for 5-6 times. Dah mcm zaman pantang haritu. He throws tantrums and demand for my milk. Seriously, at this peak, memang menguji kesabaran. Like someone told me, Allah nak bagi pahala lebih. I take it positive. Memang betul, anak ni amanah and ujian untuk kita as parents. Kekadang sebagai manusia, kita takkan lari dr buat kesilapan. Kdg2 ada jgk hilang sabar when he throws tantrums at night but nasib ada husband yg tlg take over and sebaliknya. But then, lepas tu mesti rasa jahatnye aku. Budak tu tak salah apa pun. Me myself will say sorry to arrayyan sebab he knows and he can feel what we are saying.

Sorry son. Mama loves you so much! Abah pun.
I know my milk supply is not enough for him so I started introduce him FM. Too bad semua dia reject. Dah beli pigeon peristaltic plus bottle dia mcm okey tapi dia dok gigit puting.botol tu. Bila telan air susu tu menjerit lah dia. I have changed from anmum to enfapro since my mom told me I grew up with enfalac so why dont you try with your son, mana tau dia nak. Belilah tin kecik tu.

Ingatkan dia nak la kan. Malangnye tidak. Mula mula dia mcm okey sbb I follow tips buat cair sikit. Tapi lama lama dia mula buat perangai tak nak minum. Selalu jadi mangsa abah dia la. Kesian abah.

Hubs surrender and ask me to df je. Yes no problem, but for how long nak stay mcm ni? Bottle feed susah gila. FM pun tak nak. Every night keeps cari nenen mama dia ni. Dah 2 weeks plus mcm ni. He dont have any problems with his solid foods. Semua ok. Makan banyak. So I thought he will less drink. But not for my son lah. Demand susu sama or perhaps more dgn demand makan.

Hubs kata no worry, once he is 1, dia dh krg minum susu. Perhaps. But still I want to see him grow healthy. Dapat zat yg cukup and see him happy will make me happy.

We keep trying every night to train bottle feed and feed him FM eventho dia akan menangis mcm org kena dera. Sabar je lah. -_________-
I hope he will get used to it. I have to attend class starting May. So nak tak nak kene train jgk bottle feed. Kalau tak, 3 hours lah dia tak minum susu.

I dont know what else I can do. Penat but at the same time keep trying and trying. Minum pati delima, and eat cheese utk tmbh susu. Tho it works, still every night dia mcm tu.

Orang cakap senang je, keep pump keep pump. Sabar, usaha. But seriously aku tak sekuat mcm korang lah nak mengepump je. Kalau dulu pump boleh la dpt 8-9 oz sekali pump. Sekarang adela 1-2 oz je. Its not enough for my 6 months son. Cakap mmg senang weh, nak buat tu bkn senang. Perlukan mental yg kuat.

Hubs told me last night, hebatnya kuasa Allah, susu ibu tak sama dengan mana mana susu tepung sampaikan rayyan ni susah sgt nk minum FM. Botol susu punya puting pun tak selembut mcm mommy's punya. Yes, kuasa Allah tiada tandingan cumanya my concern is, tak nak rayyan kelaparan susu.

Kadang kadang terfikir maybe ada benda halus kacau dia ke apa ke entahla. If still in a month dia tak berubah, I need to get solutions for this. Pergi darussyifa' pn takpe. Now arrayyan punya perangai, if siang, lps makan he will sleep for 1-2 hours. Siang dia tido byk sbb nk cover malam tak cukup tido.

Haih. Buntu okey. I hope at least dia nk minum FM and bottle feed. Sbb nk tgk if dia kenyang, malam dia cranky ke tak. Any ideas? Tips? TIA

Hard vs Easy

Hello.

Its hard to give Ar Rayyan FM! He hates it. Setiap kali bagi je nangis mengamuk sampai merah muka. My milk supply dah drop. Every night he wakes up 5-6 times mtk susu. I know he's starving.

One of the reason dia dah lama tak berbotol sejak I stay at home. Another reason maybe FM ni manis sangat kot. I used Anmum. Now pening nak tukar botol and cari susu yang mana ok dengan dia. Its hard to feed him FM. I know he loves mommy's milk tapi mommy dia yang kesian kat anak dia tak cukup susu. So nak tak nak kene top up dengan FM.

Will try pigeon punya bottle yang peristaltic nipple plus tu. Cuma the main part is which FM yang ok? Susah la tak semua FM ada bagi sample to try. Jual plak semua kotak besar. Jual lah size kecik sikit. Blergh.

Uterine Prolapse

Hello.

Uterine Prolapse or dlm bahasa melayu, peranakan jatuh. Read it here and here.

In my case, orang tua tua kata normal kalau kdg2 peranakan jatuh esp yg vaginal birth. I thought masa pantang je mak bidan urut utk naikkan peranakan tu balik.

Last month after 2 months tak urut, badan pun dh start berbisa and sengal, so call mak bidan utk urut. Bila urut keluar segala angin through mak bidan tu. Haha. Then bila tiba part dekat perut, mak bidan tu ckp peranakan jatuh. Tu yang perut rasa mcm cramp before urut tu. Sakit ya rabbi bila naikkan balik peranakan tu but after that I feel much better.

Reasons peranakan jatuh sbb angkat yg berat, esp my dearly son yang almost 9 kg tu. Duduk menyusukan lagi, doing housework lg and etc. MIL kata kena pantang ais. Ais boleh buat peranakan jatuh. Tang tu I dont really agree sebab I am one of a kind yg tak boleh tak minum ais. Ha ha. Habis je pantang 100 hari utk ais, terus balun ais. Heh.

Tak sure lah betul ke tak. But a bit risau if slalu sgt peranakan jatuh. Usually weekend I will ask hubs to help me mandikan rayyan so at least I can rest.

And now, I need to have a massage every month utk bg badan rasa fresh. Badan dah tak mcm dulu lg. Lain beno lesunye.

Bak kata atok, badan ni nak pakai lama lg. Baru anak 1, belum 10. Pengsan. But massage by mak bidan mmg best. Takde dah nak ke spa bagai sbb dorg urut bkn bg lega urat. Bagi relaks je. Lain agaknye urut dgn mak bidan dgn ke spa.

I need to be extra careful after this.

Chicken Pox or Measles?

Hello.

Last 3 weeks, arrayyan kena chicken pox. Itupun mama found out after almost 2 weeks. Well first time mommy mana nak tau sangat. At first mcm mild rashes je so we bought him see paed at private clinic. Paed kata bkn chicken pox sbb ar rayyan tak demam. And she gave us ubat sapu, antibiotik and ubat ruam. Still takde perubahan pun.

Bintik bintik tu makin melarat kt punggung area so we went back to see paed. Paed tukar antibiotik and ubat cream sapu because she said mungkin kudis. Heh. Mana dtg plak kudis kt arrayyan ni.

Bring him to see MO at private clinic jgk, punnnnn he told us bkn chicken pox. Time tu dh ada mcm nanah dkt punggung area. Sapu cream dr tu bg trus makin teruk plak. Pecah yg konon suspected kudis tu.

Abah bukan jenis suka pergi klinik kerajaan sbb abah tak suka menunggu. But mama tak tahan tgk arrayyan punya biji biji ni plus cranky at night buat mama pelik, whats your problem anyway?

Tokbu buatkan appointment dgn pakar keluarga kt KK Presint 9 at 4 pm. Bila jumpa, settle problem!! Kena chicken pox rupanya. Yang dkt punggung yg pecah sampai ada bekas tu adalah IBU dia. Dr kata, ada some babies mmg takkan demam bila kena chicken pox unlike measles. Go google their differents.

Banyak org tanya mama, campak ke chicken pox sbb dorg kata ada beza campak dgn chicken pox. Heh menyampah btul bila org tanya dgn lagaknye konon buat mcm mama tak tau. Dah pakar kata chicken pox tu chicken pox la. Why must argue specialist yg mmg dlm bidang dia unlike us yang bkn specialist tapi nk jadi specialist. Pokkkk kangggg!! Geram btul.

Dr kata its normal if baby seusia rayyan time tu 5 and half months kena chicken pox. Dr tak bagi ubat since she said its best kalau keluarkan semua smpi habis. And pakai daun semambu. Gigih petik daun semambu kt taman warisan tu. Hahaha.

At the same time mama mandikan rayyan dgn eubos for baby yg mmg elok utk chicken pox. Alhamdulillah, cpt jgk kering. Sekarang tinggal parut and slowly healing. Lambat beno nak betul2 baiknye. So 6 months punya jab kena tggu all clear baru boleh cucuk.

Dalam putrajaya ni, yg bagus KK Presint 9 dgn wad bersalin berisiko rendah presint 8 je. Hospital Putrajaya? Hampeh. Sangat hampeh. First and last mama pergi masa arrayyan kena bisul and warded to NICU Hosp Putrajaya. Lepas tu semua abah suruh check in Pantai je.

For me, ada pros and cons nye private and gomen. Dah pergi child specialist clinic yg ramai org kata bagus pn she cant detect. Abah suruh banned clinic tu lps ni. Pfft. Jumpa dr biasa lg lah kan. End up jumpa specialist kt kk baru ok. Its free. Err dah la nk claim kat ING lambat.

Hopes arrayyan cpt sembuh! Mama nk tgk anak mama handsome. Jenuh mama sapu kulit pisang kt tmpt bekas chicken pox tu bg nk hilang parut. Hehe.